If you're my Facebook friend, you may have seen the unfortunate event that happened to me at Angels of Assisi on Saturday. I'm still a little devastated from the outcome of that event and I really wish things would have worked out. I know I need to get on track to weight loss, and I promise I will, but I needed to say something first.
I love my best friend, Valentine. I have been lucky enough to have her in my life for the past 5 almost 6 years, and I wouldn't trade a single day. Saturday, I was hot, irritated at the situation, and I said things to her when we got in the car about how she was a bad dog. She's not and I regret it. I was just so upset and I took it out on her when I should have taken it out on the lady who caused part of the problem and myself for being so silly. This dog is a lot of my life. I do a lot to please her and make sure she is happy. She's my child. I get upset when someone talks about her and I don't like it when people don't like her. I think everyone should like. She's adorable. Duh! So I need to apologize to the best, sweetest girl. Even though she can't read my blog, her doggie computer is on the fritz, I just had to put that out there.
Back to regularly scheduled writing:
Some of you don't know me really well. So I thought I'd share some of my previous weight loss success stories and my future plans...
When I was about 12, I was a big girl for my age. As I've said, I've always been big. I walked about 3 miles a day and lost a ton of weight. I was the fittest I've ever been. I could blame my mom and dad for making me gain weight, but I was 12, I wanted junk food. SO of course I gained all of my weight back, and then some.
When I was getting ready to head to Liberty when I was 21, I actually lost 60 pounds. I was doing great. I started going to a group at my church called First Place. It was a bible study group and we had weight loss along with it. I honestly miss those ladies sometime so much. I see them at church now, and I really regret the church wasn't able to keep the group going. I loved the fellowship, bible study and just them in general. I'm a group person. I love to be in group settings. I love to talk in groups, some people would say that is not true, if you've ever talked to me in some groups, I just have to feel comfortable and unjudged. Sometimes that's a hard thing to do and I'm getting better at coping.
When I was about 26, I found another church group, that was doing Bod 4 God. Great book and I'm friends with the author on Facebook, who is a great man, and very inspirational pastor. He's got great information on his page about his book and I'd be happy to let anyone read my copy. I lost about 30 pounds.
The point of this post, I do weight loss in a group setting a lot better than I do in a single only me setting. I've tried to get my dad on track with me and he just gets tired of it after a while and it makes me derail with him. Honestly, I know weight watchers works for some, but I'm not paying $12-$15 a week for someone to talk to me about how to lose weight. I've done enough research, I know what foods to eat and I know how to do it, I just need the support of a group to do it. It makes it easier for my mind frame.
Why does a group weight loss setting help me? Honestly, it's about embarrassment. I don't want to be that one that doesn't lose weight when everyone else does. I never wanted to be the one that had to say she gained weight. It shakes me to my core. I remember before starting First Place the first bible study group, I'd go to McDonalds during my lunch, get two double cheeseburgers, large french fries and a large sweet tea. I know it's sad. I know it's awful and stereotypical of a fat person. I couldn't help it. I stress eat. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I feel anything. It's my natural reaction to food. I love it. I love McDonalds, I still do. I love sweet tea. It's addicting for me. I know it's pathetic. I know I shouldn't go there. I know. It doesn't helping knowing and not knowing how to stop it. I can detox all I want, I can cleanse, but it's in me to want those things. In a group setting, fear sets in. I can shut those cravings off. I have the willpower and groups bring it out in me. I'm super duper competitive. I hate losing. Ask my nephews. Aunt Manta can sometimes be a little crazy at basketball games or any sporting event usually. I love winning. I love being that person that everyone envies because she lost 10 pounds. Or just because I lost weight period. I love the gratification of other people telling you how awesome you are because you've gotten one step closer to your goal.
I loved the way the leader of First Place set it up. It was a good motivator. We all had cards that we had filled out with our information. Each week, we all got new motivational partners. We were supposed to email them or call them and talk to that person, find out if they're struggling or if they just needed someone to talk to. It worked well for me. I had some great friends come out of that situation. I think it was awesome. I loved having someone ask me about my week. It's similar to having a sponsor for alcoholics. I mean, that person is who you're supposed to call if you wanted to eat a donut and you've already had 3. Or just because you needed someone to talk you out of driving to McDonalds for a 5 happy meal dinner. I think it works. I think it helps. I believe that those women holding you accountable is a great way to keep you on track. It's a great way to connect to. You didn't have to talk about food, you could just talk about your week. We had to track our food on sheets of paper and you could just ask how they're tracking was. It was a great feeling.
I remember the first time I stepped on the scale at First Place. When I saw that number come up, I wanted to cry. It's the reason I haven't stepped on a scale recently. I'm afraid I'll cry and it's not even about weight necessarily for me. I want to be fit, toned and skinnier, but my weight is necessarily relevant to that. I remember thinking "Amanda, you're a monster. You could totally squish a person right now with your body weight". I was right. I did something about it then and I will do something about it now.
I've looked online trying to find another group and the closest one is in Fincastle. That's not acceptable for me. SO I'm in the process of trying to find a meeting place to hold a weight loss group. It won't be super formal, it'll be a weigh-in every week thing, and it'll be self tracked in a notebook that will be held with me. I'm not going to read your weight, I've got my own issues to worry about, but it will be filled with advice, and filled with helpful hints. I know of some great nutritionists that would love to come speak and help us. So hang in there, I'm working on it. I just need to work out the complete details. It'll happen though, if I have to do it here at my house. We're doing it! So pay attention, news coming soon!
Phat Fat Chick
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