Bridget Jones & Relationships

Have you ever seen "Bridget Jones:The Edge of Reason"?

If not, you're missing out.  I love this movie.  Bridget Jones, played by Renee Zellweger, is a real woman.  She's sometimes a misled woman who is completely out of her league with her new boyfriend, Mark Darcy is a lawyer who is in a different class.  He's stiff and not at all like her.  They make a cute couple. 

Honestly, sometimes I feel like Bridget Jones.  I feel like the American version of her.  I wish had such an awesome accent. I'd love to live in London too. I'm actually hoping one day to move there.  Anyway, she's complicated, a little pudgy and completely out of her league.  One of my favorite parts is when she is getting out of bed, she wears a sheet.  He asks her what she's doing and she tells him she doesn't want him to see her wobbly bits.  He then tells her he loves her wobbly bits. So she immediately gains confidence.  Super cute. I love that part.  The whole movie is filled with her making simple mistakes, and funny things that happen to her.  Like her lying about being able to ski, and she gets stuck on the ski lift.  Her messing up her makeup to go into a room full of people who her boyfriend works with.  Hilarious.  I love her attitude. It's classic me.

I always feel like that I'm out of my league.  I feel out of place, I feel confused sometimes on where I belong. I understand how it feels. I'm always going to be different.  I'm always going to be that girl.  I'm always going to be Bridget Jones.  I have been in a lot of the same situations as she was.  I've been in that relationship she was in.  I forced it into what I wanted it to be instead of what it was. I'm good at doing that.  Forcing issues, forcing relationships.

I've recently been cleaning out the basement. I found a lot of things from my wedding.  It makes me nostalgic for those times, when we were happy. Oh, don't get me wrong, I don't miss him at all.  It was the best thing that ever happened to me, a giant burden was lifted when we separated.  I just remember the feeling she has in the movie.  I wanted to get married. I thought it was all that mattered in the relationship.  I wish I would have made it a little less important and focused on myself a little more.  This reason, is exactly why I haven't entered into a serious relationship.  I'm positive that I'm not happy with me, and if I'm not happy with me, I definitely can't be happy with someone else.

It took me a very long time to come to this realization.  As soon as we were separated, I thought I needed someone else in my life.  I didn't think I could be alone and be me.  I went through a lot of issues, depression, a lot of crying.  I know it's sad, and I hate that I wasted that much time on that person. I do hate that I wasted time, but I have not 1 regret.  If I hadn't experienced what I did, then I wouldn't be who I am.  I've been the Bridget Jones who wears a comforter, checking messages, eating ice cream and crying.  I've been that sad pathetic girl.  After that, I refused to be that girl anymore. 

Just like now in my life.  I've decided that I'm not that girl anymore who eats whatever she wants.  The only person I'm hurting is myself.  I can decide what path I take. 

I'm very thankful that I haven't been arrested like she was.  That's one thing I'll pass on.  Especially in a Thailand jail. 

We're all Bridget Jones in some way.  We just need to find our confidence.

Phat Fat Chick