Evil food...My weaknesses...

I want to be encouraging. I want to get on here and write about this awesome day that happened today, and how I feel so amazing, because I ate this amazing kale salad and how I'm super awesome and how I was the only person in the world who never cheated on a diet or food plan. I want to be that for you.  Here's the problem, I'm not perfect. I can't always eat like I'm supposed to.  Anyone who tells you that they never eat a tempting food, is probably lying and is a closet eater.  I have tons of flaws. I've written about 17 posts on the subject about weight and my personal views. I've also never been 100% honest with you about my true struggles, until yesterday. It was hard for me to write that post because I didn't want people to think less of me, but I felt invigorated. I don't want to be your Debbie Downer, but I also don't want to lie. I don't want you to think it's all rainbows and butterflies in this, because it's not.  No one who has been on a true weight loss journey has been fortunate enough to have smooth sailing. These books that tell you it's so easy, it's simple. I've got news for you, those people have always looked that good.  They didn't need their weight loss plans.  It's not easy, it's not simple, and it sure aint pretty. I want to be raw, honest, and emotional.  I want you guys to be helped by learning from my struggles and helped by conquering your goals by learning from my short falls.  That's the whole point.  I can't sugar coat it . Well I can, but I'd probably eat it.  I love writing to you. I love the feeling when someone comments and says that they've been encouraged, or helped. It makes me smile. It helps me to keep going.  I want those closet eaters, to understand, they're not alone. We all eat.  Struggling will make winning that much sweeter, minus the sugar, and no I'm never going to be 100% without sugar. NEVER. Don't ask me to do it, because I won't. I don't need to. I can get to my goal with sugar and with my hundreds of pounds of failures.

Yes, I eat when I fail.  I eat when I'm depressed, bored and sometimes just because I want to eat. 

I say this all the time. I say it when I go to a buffet and sometimes just after every meal.  I always tell myself that. I always convince myself to do better.  But it's an addiction. There are people who would disagree on this subject, that food isn't an addiction, but you're very wrong.  It is. It's become a coping mechanism.  It's been my crutch to get me through everything in my entire life.  I can't just stop eating. I'm not Gandhi and I'm not on a fast. I'm not detoxing, I'm not cutting out sugars, I'm not eating only hamburgers and eggs. I'm not doing that.  I will not do that. I can't stand that.  I will however, make better food choices, eat more vegetables, because in fact, I'm in love with fruit and vegetables.  I love water.  Swimming is one of my other addictions. I could live in a pool.  I love to swim.  That's something else. Ignore that.  I love to drink water. I love how it tastes when it's ridiculously cold.  I don't like hot water.  I can drink water until I float.  BUT, I love soda.  I can't help it, I do.  I love Pineapple Fanta, even though it's been months since I've had one, I could drink a whole 20 oz in a matter of minutes. I love diet sodas too. I know I know, the whole diet soda controversy, how they can make you gain weight.  I love them though. I love most sodas.  I love most juices. I love hot chocolate in the winter, and Slurpees in the summer.  NEVER ask me to give those up.  I just won't.  I have the will power to do it, I just don't want too.  I can accomplish what I want without having to cut those out of my life. 

I love Slurpees. It's my worst weakness.  No, I don't like Slush Puppies, those things are cheap knock offs of the best.  I could drink a Slurpee every single day for the rest of my life, 3-4 times a day.  No, I'm not drinking that sugar free one, or the diet coke one. I like the full sugar slurpee.  If I want a sugar rush, that's how I'll get it.  I'm more of a salty eater than a sweet eater, even though I have a weakness for those delicious luscious cold frozen drink.  I love chips. I love pretzels. I love snack food. What am I saying, I love a lot of things. It's hard to pinpoint one weakness.

I struggle when I drive by a fast food window, or when I drive by a 7-11 and it's 90 degrees.  I feel like the car is going to pull over, and eject me from my seat.  It's never done that, but I'll be the first to let you know if it does. It's always me. I'm always the one in control.  I am always the one who gets out of the car and goes in, or drives thru.  I can hear that little angel on my shoulder telling me I shouldn't, then I hear the little devil saying, "Whose going to know?".  You guys wouldn't know if I went to 7-11 everyday for the last week and got a Slurpee unless you saw me in there.  You're not in my car 24-7, or attached at my hip.  I can do as I please.  I could have the common sense to ignore that evil voice, but I don't.  Sometimes I give in and drive to McDonalds, Little Caesars, or 7-11.  Smack my hand!  Smack me in the face!  Someone stop me!! I'm out of control.   I know I can control myself, but sometimes I need that freedom.  Sometimes I need to just let go and do what I really want, instead of being scared you'll see me in the drive thru.  So if you're driving by, and see me getting McDonalds, or eating pizza, don't condemn me. We all have our own drive thru weakness. Yours may not be food, but you've got a weakness too. 

I'll try to stay away from the drive thrus and 7-11's if you stay away from your weakness.  What's your weakness and how can I help you stay away from it??!  A food sponsor isn't really a bad idea. I'll call you when I've finished my happy meal. ;-)

Phat Fat Chick

Bullies...I have no use for them...

Bullies are just mean people who need to cut other people down to make themselves feel better.  I have no respect for a bully. I have no remorse for the punishment bullies receive. I have no sad feeling for any bullies.  I'm tired of people being mistreated and picked on for their looks. When someone is being bullied, the punishment should be cruel. It should be unusal.  It should be tough. No holding back.

Now I have to be completely honest...I'm a bully.  I'm a bully to myself.  I'm ashamed.  As I should be.  Bullies are evil.  For those who are just joining us, I messed up my knee.  I can walk, but it hurts if I twist it too much, or try to walk to much and hurts going up and down stairs.  I have really been hard on myself about it.  I HATE missing my me time.  I haven't been able to go for going on 3 weeks.  It's not right.  I don't like missing my dancing time, but I have to let myself heal, or it will be a lot worse. It's not getting better fast, because I can't learn when to stop.  I walk up and down the hill at least twice a day to feed the chickens.  Of course I could ask my dad to help me, but I don't want to make him to my job.  It hurts. I hate being that baby of a person who can't do what I want.  Yes, you'll see me walking fine one day, and later that day, limping. It's probably because I won't stop and rest.  SO this week, I've made a decision. Either it gets better by Wednesday, or I'm going to dance anyway on Thursday.  I'm tired. I can feel my body going down hill. I don't like it. I didn't sign up for this.  So I've been bullying myself. I've been telling myself that I'm just making excuses. I could go to dance and do some of the steps and just be careful.  I could do that.  Or I could stay fat and blame it on my knee.  I've been bullying myself saying that I'm pitiful, still using that knee excuse.  I hate when someone asks me how my knee is, because I feel like they're saying that I'm using it as a crutch to avoid working out. I don't need to work out to lose weight. I've lost 60 pounds by just eating better before, but I enjoy working out.  I love it.  I'm not using this as a crutch, I'm honestly petrified about the consequences if I move too much or move the wrong way.  I'm scared it will be so bad, that I can't walk.  I know it's easy for some people to say to go to the doctor.  I wish I could.  I don't have a primary physician, because I never get sick. I never need one.  So for an appointment, the earliest one is August.  Sad I know.  I could go to the ER, but that's long wait times, and a lot of money.  SO I'm nursing myself back to health alone.  And I'm hard on myself.  All the time.

I look at myself in the mirror and I tell me,  Man that outfit looks awful. I bet everyone is making fun of you. Why wouldn't they?  I am always picking on myself about my weight.  I'm always picking on myself about my hair.  About my face. About how white my skin is. How I do certain things a certain way.  I'm never nice.  I never compliment myself. I set high expectations that normal people could never live up to. I push myself when I need to slow down. I push harder.  I tell myself it's not worth the trouble, because I'm always going to be the same.  I am never nice.  If I were to say to someone else the things I say to myself, I think I could make anyone cry.  I could make people cry, and I could hurt a lot of feelings.  I'm a bully.  I'm an obnoxious mean bully. 

If I couldn't say it to you, then why do I say it to myself??  Because I'm my own worse critic.  I have such high expectations for myself, and I feel like I can do better on most occasions that I never feel satisfied.  I want to be the best me. And I feel like I'm not.  I'm not a person to feel sorry for myself. I don't like sympathy for things I can't change. Bad decisions, those are my own fault. I'm a bully when it comes to my bad decisions. I can't just let them go, I beat myself up over them.  I can't let anything go. 

I've read stories about bullies, beating up kids, causing kids to commit suicide.  It's a sad, sad thing.  I have no use for bullies.  I have no use for someone who needs to cut someone else down to make themselves feel better.  Bullies are always just as imperfect as we are, they can just manipulate it to their advantage easier.  There are going to be bullies everywhere in our life. Ourselves, the cashier, the coworker, our parents sometimes.  It's impossible to go through life without ever encountering a bully. The best thing to do is remember that you're the best you. That's all that matters.  Words are just words.  They can't kill you.

I've seen some pictures on Facebook recently of larger women wearing bikini's and things that on a normal basis, most women do not wear.  In my mind,  I hear myself bullying them.  I know, it's wrong. I hear myself saying things that aren't nice.  I hear myself picturing myself in those outfits and cutting myself down.  I can hear the negativity.  It's like a poison.  I'm upset about one thing, in this particular time, my knee issues, and I take it out on a lot of people.  I've not been very nice. I know some people don't want to hear this, but it's true. I'm human. I'm struggling right now, and I'm miserable.  I hate not being the best me. I hate not being in control. I hate not being a bully.  I AM A BULLY. I have no use for that version of myself. I have no use for that girl. She sucks.  I hate this current version of myself. The one who is too depressed to write her blog. The one who is too depressed to be me.  I hate the bully that lives in me.  So today, I'm going to shut her down.  I'm going to ignore her and anyone else who has the same opinions. I'm doing the best me, I can at this point. Yes, my weight loss journey has hit a snag. Yes, I eat when I'm depressed. I'm human. All I can at this point, is pray and heal.  It'll all be ok and it will all work out.  I'm still the best me I can be right now.

Phat Fat Chick

Trends....

A few things before I start in on it...I wanted to say, I'm sorry for missing a few days.  When it rains here, the internet seems to be spotty and last night I couldn't get the page to load. So I apologize about that.  Two, unfortunately, my knee isn't doing any better. It seems to be getting slightly worse.  This morning, I woke up and could barely walk for the first little bit.  This evening, the pain has subsided for the most part.  So thanks for those who asked.  ALSO, those who have been asking me about a Facebook page, for the blog, not yet. I don't have the time to do it right now, and I'm not sure it would have a lot of likes at this point in the baby stage of the blog. 

WARNING:  This is a controversial post.  I am going to discuss trends that are not suited for people of my size.  I'm sorry if this offends you, but I have the same opinion with some on this issue. I believe it's unattractive for any size. If you're plus size and you wear these trends, more power to you, but you won't see me supporting or wearing them.

I recently read these on another blog, and it says they are myths about "fat girl" rules, and they're being broken. credit: http://www.bustle.com/articles/26582-7-fat-girls-cant-wear-that-rules-totally-and-completely-disproven

1. Fat girls can't wear crop tops.

 Well they can.  It's not that they can't, but why would you? Why would anyone at any size??   I know I'm going to sound like a square and like a old lady, but I think we should cover up some parts of our bodies.  Some things aren't meant to be shown.  Men need mystery.  Why should you show them something that should be intimate?? AND for me personally, I don't look good in cropped tops.  I have a stomach, I don't show it.  I think there are some things that should remain a mystery, and my stomach is one. I don't tuck my shirts in, because I don't want to see that infamous kangaroo pouch. I think it's hideous. And it has nothing to do with my personal view of myself, I just find that I don't like it, so I don't do it.  It's a choice.  I choose to be conservative and cover myself up. I'm not saying I walk around in a burqa, and cover my face, etc. I don't think anyone should. Just think about what you're showing before you do it.

2. & 3. Fat girls can't wear bright colors/ Fat girls can't wear bold patterns.

  This one is completely false. I think anyone can wear any color. Granted, some colors look better on some than others, but as far as color, I'll never be one to shy away. I love colors.  As for patterns, there are certain ones that aren't flattering, that I won't wear, but I definitely don't shy away from bold patterns. It depends on the pattern for each person.

4. Fat girls can't wear short shorts.

Again, they can.  I think this is based on a persons height and the length of the shorts.  There are girls who are size 2, wearing shorts so short, that they reveal a little too much.  I do not need to see your butt cheeks hanging out the back of your shorts. I don't care what size you wear.  I don't care if you're fat or skinny. My mom is short, so her shorts are a little longer, she's got short legs.  I've noticed Old Navy has some seriously short shorts that if I was someone's mother, I'd never let them wear.  I guess that's a different subject.  Again, it's about mystery and not showing off everything that God gave you to strangers.

5. & 6. Fat girls can't wear tanks/Fat girls can't wear skirts above the knee.

These two are also false.  I wear tanks all the time.  I live in them.  As far as the skirts, above the knee within reason is fine.

7. Fat girls shouldn't wear shirts that emphasize the belly.

True & False.  There is nothing wrong with wearing a tight shirt.  There is something wrong with wearing pants 3 sizes too small, and having a muffin top and then wearing a tight shirt.  I think girls are so worried about the size of their pants instead of wearing the correct size. They're scared of the going up one or two sizes to make sure they fit. 

I don't get why people feel they need to show everything like their chests, legs, butt, and other parts of their bodies.  Most of the time it's for the wrong reasons.  Are you really showing those things off for yourself??  Most women who wear clothing that is showing too much are trying to get the attention of a man/boy.  They're trying to find a man or some one to love them.  I'm not cutting them down. It's sometimes not something they understand. They don't understand why they feel the need to dress that way.  Sometimes they do and they enjoy it.  I just wish that more girls would figure out that dressing "slutty" to get a man, is going to get you a man that is not worth having.  Why would you want a man that is only interested in seeing what else is under your clothes, then truly being with you?  Of course, every man wants an attractive girl.  And every girl wants an attractive man.  But we need to figure out where the line is. 

Fat girls aren't the only ones that need to hide their bodies.  I know that most fat people are embarrassed to show skin in fear of what people think, but why not be embarrassed to show skin because of who it makes you become?   If you have to make yourself available by showing skin, then why make yourself available.  I know dating is hard for women, especially fat women.  I know some men are always looking for the next best thing, or the next hottest thing, but that's my point. If you met a man, who was interested in you for what you look like, like your size, clothes, etc., what makes you think when those things disappear he'll stick around??  People in general are selfish.  People are interested in being the best.  I understand that. I love being the best. I love competition.  I just never will succumb to trends to make myself feel better.  Losing weight for me is not a trend. I am changing myself because I want to be healthy. I want to be around for another 60 years.  I have dreams. I know if I continue on this path, that I won't be here. That's why I'm changing. Not for anyone else.  Not for a man.  Just for me. When I get to my goal weight, you won't see me in dresses that are too short, or shorts that are too short. You'll see me in the same things I've always worn.  I won't change who I am.

Phat Fat Chick


For those who were interested in the meetings....The library apparently isn't interested in helping us.  So we'll have to do it on our own. I'm working on figuring out the details. It will be at my house.  I'll keep you updated when I have the start date, but it should be in July.  Thanks.

Only Green...say what??!

So today, was a nice day out.  I went swimming with my family. It was my nephew's 4th birthday, so we were having a party up on the deck when my brother was talking about this "eating only green vegetables" diet.  SO I looked it up.  I haven't heard of it, and I didn't know it actually existed. Apparently it's popular for athletes.  I've never supported a diet plan like this and I'm still not, I'm just telling you the things I've read. 

I don't believe it's healthy to eat a certain type of food for an extended period of time.  It can cause dramatic body changes if not correctly when you start eating another food.  And you need protein.  I don't drink protein shakes, and I don't take pills.  I'm very tired of hearing commercials for "Complete Nutrition" or for other pill programs.  They may work for some, but I don't believe in un-natural things like pills for weight loss.  My dad was able to eat salads for every meal, no protein, and it caused some issues that we noticed, like mood swings, and other issues. He had a protein deficiency and it caused him to be a very aggressive person at times.  We changed his diet, and he went back to his large jolly self.  I've tried to read as much about different diets that I could. I can't stick to a diet.  It's hard.  I like creating my own food plans based on information I have, and work from there. 

With the green vegetables, it's pretty self explanatory.  You eat a ton of green vegetables. It'd be a great thing, if I had a juicer. I don't. If you have one and want to gift me one, I'll send you my address.  I love Kale.  I have been to classes where they have used Kale as a salad base, and I truly enjoy it now. It stinks, and it's bitter, unless you know how to fix it.  I have a recipe for a salad dressing that is phenomenal on kale.  You have to massage kale to break down some of the enzymes in order to get some of the bitterness out of it.  I'll have to look for that recipe.  I have said I don't like lettuce very often. I don't.  I wish I could eat it more, but it's just not for me.  I do love some spinach though.  Yummy.  So for me, I don't think I could do the green vegetable diet.  I need some color. It also goes against some of the information that I've gotten from other classes I've attended. I've always been told about phytonutrients, and that we should be eating a rainbow of colors during our meals.  So this goes against some of my previous beliefs and understandings. It doesn't mean it's wrong, it just means it's different.

Since I wanted to know what vegetables were the best for you, I looked it up.  I couldn't get the chart to paste here, so you'll have to follow the link. Sorry about that.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-mercola/vegetable-diet-_b_813591.html

It shows that most vegetables are great for your diet, except potatoes. My weakness.  I love all potatoes. It can be a sweet potato, red potato, blue potato or purple. I'm a sucker for them.  I love them hundreds of ways. I just can't get enough of them. 

While I was looking this up, I came across livestrong.com.  They actually have a great website for tracking food, exercise, weight loss and other things that you may find beneficial. I would definitely suggest looking it up.  It seems to be very detailed and things you can simply do at home. 

Rather you're dieting with me, or just eating more vegetables, you're doing amazing. You may not see immeadiate results, but remember, any change you make in your lifestyle, is a step in the right direction.

Phat Fat Chick

Turn Around, I'll find it...

First things first...Today would have been my grandma's 78th birthday.  So Happy Birthday Nanny.  

Have you ever heard about someone talking about losing weight, then someone says turn around I'll find it??  I always hated that. I always hated when people said that about someone.  It's amazing when someone loses weight, it's not a joke. It's not something to make fun of. It's not something to take lightly. 

If you think about how much a pound is, it's about 3 potatoes.  Take 3 potatoes and carry them around all day.  Think about how much of a pain that is.  Take 5 pounds,  carry around a 5 pound bag of potatoes all day.  You're arms will be exhausted.  We think of losing a pound or 5 pounds as a loss, but not a giant victory.  ANY WEIGHT LOSS IS A GIANT VICTORY.  I don't care if you lose half a pound, 1/4 of a pound, a loss is a loss.  I don't condone checking a scale on a daily basis, it tends to lead to disappointment and failure.  Most women who weigh themselves everyday find themselves on a track that causes nothing but problems.  They get depressed when they gain a pound, they get caught up in single pounds, and "numbers', they lose sight of what it important. 

I know it's hard. It's hard for me.  I wish I could check every hour of the day to measure what I am gaining.  I wish I could check every hour and get a pound loss every time.  It'd be pretty amazing.  I'd be losing weight so fast, I'd be really happy.  I've always heard that when weight is lost fast, it's gained back just as fast if not faster.  I've read diet books. I've read ways to lose weight.  I've seen the mottos, mantras, and anything else that could be used to lose weight.  The atkins diet, eat less carbs.  Weight Watchers, count points.  If those have worked for you and you've lost weight, that's awesome. I'm proud of you.  It's more than I can do.  I've mentioned it before, I believe Weight Watchers is a great program, I just don't believe in paying the $12 a week for it.  I think group weight loss works, like the beach body programs, I just don't believe in paying for those. I don't think paying for a process to lose weight will set me up for success.  I disagree. I think we have to pay for too many things in life, and I don't think it makes it a successful atmosphere for my particular personality.  Maybe I'm just too cheap. 

I believe that we all have the strength to overcome obstacles in weight loss.  It takes a lot of focus. It's hard. If it was easy, no one would be fat.  We'd all be able to walk around in bikinis and show off our killer bods.  We wouldn't have a plus size section.  There are always advertisements for pills to help lose weight, or powder to sprinkle on your food to shrink your cravings.  It never works.  How about we use a little hard work??  That's what's wrong with the world. I'd get into that, but that's another post.  Hard work. Work hard, determination and don't be afraid. Fear is a very difficult path.  I've been working on this myself.  I'm always scared of something.  Scared of what someone will think of me, scared of rejection, scared of failure.  All of these things are real.  Scared of failure, what if I'm writing this blog and I fail?  I can't lose weight?  Will you stop reading because then I'm just a fat girl who can't lose weight and obviously can't help you lose weight?  It's a scary thought.  If I dedicate myself and work hard, what if it just doesn't happen??  It's part of life. I'll never please everyone. Even when I lose weight, someone may not like me.  I've learned I need to work on my outlook.  I need to think positive and not be afraid.  If you don't like me, you don't. I can't make people like me. 

I'm excited and I hope you'll stay with me on this journey. 

I had planned on sharing a recipe tonight, but I couldn't get to the book tonight. I'll try to dig it out tomorrow.  Thanks for reading.

Phat Fat Chick

Perception vs. Reality...The Numbers Game

Ok, I lied.  I apologize.  I didn't mean to miss two days on writing. Technically 3, since I didn't write the other day on what I should write about.  I have been super busy.  We've been preparing for a yard sale, and I have been cleaning like a mad person. I have neglected a lot lately.  I feel like I've been ignoring everything.  So I can't make a promise I won't miss days, we're about to start a remodeling project on a bedroom, build a chicken coop and some other renovations. SO I can't guarantee. ;-)

Ok, so I said we were planning a yard sale.  I went through my clothes, and luckily I had some that were now to big. SO I was able to get rid of some of them. It's always a nice feeling to get rid of clothes that are too big.  It's better than having to get rid of them because they're too small. Honestly, this week, missing dance, I feel like I've gained a few pounds. It could just be in my head too. Since I'm against a scale right now, there's no way to verify my accusations against myself.  I put the clothes out, and I watched people all day. I got a little sunburnt, but thankfully, it'll add nicely to my tan.  

I watched people all day. Before I get into this whole story, let me tell you about this lady that stole from me.  No I didn't chase her down like a criminal, I think I'll just say an extra prayer for her tonight, because obviously she's having a hard time or definitely may have a mental problem.  Ok, so I had about 20-30 paper lanterns. Giant ones.   I was planning on selling them for like .50 cents.  I look over and a lady is looking at one, she picks it up and walks to the other side of the yard where the other things are.  I see her look over at me, and then walk away.  Walked straight down the street with it in her hands.  I didn't say a word.  If she felt she needed to take such a small thing and not pay for it, either she's having a really hard time and can't afford 50 cents, or she's mentally unstable. So what else can you do? She'll pay for that mistake eventually. She may never realize it, but she will.  So she needs a little forgiveness.

I was watching other people and I noticed that women, close to my size, think they are too small for my clothes. And I thought about it,  do they really think they are smaller than I am or are they embarrassed to shop on a plus size rack??  I watched women all day.  I watched them pick up things and make remarks like they're too big or I'm too small for that.  Maybe it's their perception of themselves.  Maybe they have an idea of what they look like in their mind and reality can't shake that??  It's not my place to judge someone's size, but when clothes range in certain sizes from my mom and myself, it seems like they may be perceiving themselves as a different size than they actually are. 

I've been in this mind frame.  I still can be at times.  I've looked at myself in the mirror and couldn't understand why I wear the size I do. I've felt like I am smaller than I am. I've looked at clothes and thought they would fit me, or maybe be a little baggy, and when I get home I've found out they didn't fit. Clothes are hard to decipher and it's hard to figure out if they'll fit. I get that.  I just think that sometimes women are wearing clothes that are a little too tight, because they're scared of the awful number game.

I'm always afraid of the game myself.  It shouldn't matter but it does.  I'm always afraid of going up that dreadful size.  One number up, and it makes me paranoid.  I freak out when I see the difference in numbers.  Some clothes are cut smaller and you need a bigger size.  I hate that. When I bought my wedding dress, I about died when I had to get a size that was about 3 sizes bigger.  The ones in my size fit a little tight, but I just wanted it to be perfect and those weren't perfect. I wanted to be able to breathe.  When that number kept having to go up, I thought I'd pass out.  It was a miserable feeling. 

When I went to buy bigger clothes, it's a miserable feeling.  It's a game you play with yourself to see who wins.  It's never me.  At least it hasn't been me.  I'm hoping I never have to buy bigger clothes again.  I'm never playing again. It's like a game in Vegas where all the odds are against you.  House always wins.  Not this time.  It won't be a losers game for me, at least not a losers game in the way that I'm the one who gains weight.  I will be the winner and loser of weight. 

So to help those on the same track, hopefully starting tomorrow, I'll be able to share some recipes with you. I found an old recipe book that worked for my mom when she went from like an 18 to an 8.  So check back tomorrow.  Thanks for reading.

Phat Fat Chick

Now is Good

A little different than my normal subject, but I wanted to share something with you. 

I just watched a movie on Netflix.  If you know me, you know I'm obsessed with British shows & movies.  So I was looking on Netflix for something to watch. I found the movie "Now is Good".  It has Dakota Fanning in it, and I'm normally not a fan of hers, but this movie was amazing.

I don't remember the lead actor's name, but he was exceptional as well.  Let me preface the movie and tell you that the movie is different. It's not exactly a normal movie. It's an independent movie, so it's kind of low budget. 

Anyway, it's about a young teenager who has leukemia and has limited days.  She falls in love with this guy, and it's just an amazing romance.  It's one that most girls dream of. Yea, I'm a hopeless romantic.  It's a tear jerker and I cried for like the whole last hour.  Just fair warning.

I apologize for not writing a whole lot tonight, I got so wrapped up in the movie, and now it's my bedtime.  I couldn't stop watching. That happens a lot though, I get into movies, especially like Ever After, or Pride and Prejudice.  I'll try not to wrap myself in a movie tomorrow night. ;-)

Phat Fat Chick