I want to be encouraging. I want to get on here and write about this awesome day that happened today, and how I feel so amazing, because I ate this amazing kale salad and how I'm super awesome and how I was the only person in the world who never cheated on a diet or food plan. I want to be that for you. Here's the problem, I'm not perfect. I can't always eat like I'm supposed to. Anyone who tells you that they never eat a tempting food, is probably lying and is a closet eater. I have tons of flaws. I've written about 17 posts on the subject about weight and my personal views. I've also never been 100% honest with you about my true struggles, until yesterday. It was hard for me to write that post because I didn't want people to think less of me, but I felt invigorated. I don't want to be your Debbie Downer, but I also don't want to lie. I don't want you to think it's all rainbows and butterflies in this, because it's not. No one who has been on a true weight loss journey has been fortunate enough to have smooth sailing. These books that tell you it's so easy, it's simple. I've got news for you, those people have always looked that good. They didn't need their weight loss plans. It's not easy, it's not simple, and it sure aint pretty. I want to be raw, honest, and emotional. I want you guys to be helped by learning from my struggles and helped by conquering your goals by learning from my short falls. That's the whole point. I can't sugar coat it . Well I can, but I'd probably eat it. I love writing to you. I love the feeling when someone comments and says that they've been encouraged, or helped. It makes me smile. It helps me to keep going. I want those closet eaters, to understand, they're not alone. We all eat. Struggling will make winning that much sweeter, minus the sugar, and no I'm never going to be 100% without sugar. NEVER. Don't ask me to do it, because I won't. I don't need to. I can get to my goal with sugar and with my hundreds of pounds of failures.
Yes, I eat when I fail. I eat when I'm depressed, bored and sometimes just because I want to eat.
I say this all the time. I say it when I go to a buffet and sometimes just after every meal. I always tell myself that. I always convince myself to do better. But it's an addiction. There are people who would disagree on this subject, that food isn't an addiction, but you're very wrong. It is. It's become a coping mechanism. It's been my crutch to get me through everything in my entire life. I can't just stop eating. I'm not Gandhi and I'm not on a fast. I'm not detoxing, I'm not cutting out sugars, I'm not eating only hamburgers and eggs. I'm not doing that. I will not do that. I can't stand that. I will however, make better food choices, eat more vegetables, because in fact, I'm in love with fruit and vegetables. I love water. Swimming is one of my other addictions. I could live in a pool. I love to swim. That's something else. Ignore that. I love to drink water. I love how it tastes when it's ridiculously cold. I don't like hot water. I can drink water until I float. BUT, I love soda. I can't help it, I do. I love Pineapple Fanta, even though it's been months since I've had one, I could drink a whole 20 oz in a matter of minutes. I love diet sodas too. I know I know, the whole diet soda controversy, how they can make you gain weight. I love them though. I love most sodas. I love most juices. I love hot chocolate in the winter, and Slurpees in the summer. NEVER ask me to give those up. I just won't. I have the will power to do it, I just don't want too. I can accomplish what I want without having to cut those out of my life.
I love Slurpees. It's my worst weakness. No, I don't like Slush Puppies, those things are cheap knock offs of the best. I could drink a Slurpee every single day for the rest of my life, 3-4 times a day. No, I'm not drinking that sugar free one, or the diet coke one. I like the full sugar slurpee. If I want a sugar rush, that's how I'll get it. I'm more of a salty eater than a sweet eater, even though I have a weakness for those delicious luscious cold frozen drink. I love chips. I love pretzels. I love snack food. What am I saying, I love a lot of things. It's hard to pinpoint one weakness.
I struggle when I drive by a fast food window, or when I drive by a 7-11 and it's 90 degrees. I feel like the car is going to pull over, and eject me from my seat. It's never done that, but I'll be the first to let you know if it does. It's always me. I'm always the one in control. I am always the one who gets out of the car and goes in, or drives thru. I can hear that little angel on my shoulder telling me I shouldn't, then I hear the little devil saying, "Whose going to know?". You guys wouldn't know if I went to 7-11 everyday for the last week and got a Slurpee unless you saw me in there. You're not in my car 24-7, or attached at my hip. I can do as I please. I could have the common sense to ignore that evil voice, but I don't. Sometimes I give in and drive to McDonalds, Little Caesars, or 7-11. Smack my hand! Smack me in the face! Someone stop me!! I'm out of control. I know I can control myself, but sometimes I need that freedom. Sometimes I need to just let go and do what I really want, instead of being scared you'll see me in the drive thru. So if you're driving by, and see me getting McDonalds, or eating pizza, don't condemn me. We all have our own drive thru weakness. Yours may not be food, but you've got a weakness too.
I'll try to stay away from the drive thrus and 7-11's if you stay away from your weakness. What's your weakness and how can I help you stay away from it??! A food sponsor isn't really a bad idea. I'll call you when I've finished my happy meal. ;-)
Phat Fat Chick
No comments:
Post a Comment